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Three Ways to be More Likeable in a Conversation



These three conversation strategies are guaranteed to make you more likeable during conversations in English. If you use these strategies, other people will enjoy talking to you and look forward to meeting you again in the future.

1. Encourage people to talk about themselves

People love talking about themselves, so if you encourage your conversation partner to talk about himself when you are talking, he will really enjoy the conversation. After meeting you, he will tell his friends that you are a very interesting person, but he won’t realize that the reason he enjoys talking to you is because you let him talk about himself!

How can you encourage others to talk about themselves naturally? It’s easy if you follow these three steps:

(a) Mention something about the person – “So, you’re from Hong Kong.”

(b) Make a comment. “I don’t really know much about that city.”

(c) Ask a question. “Is it a good place to live?”


He’ll talk about his home town and because he’s talking about himself, he’ll really enjoy talking to you, which makes you more likeable immediately.


2. Show a genuine interest in others

Showing a genuine interest in other people makes them feel happy. By focusing on the other person, you make her feel important, which means she’ll really enjoy talking to you. Perhaps you can think about past conversations when another person showed a real interest in you. You probably felt happy and thought that conversation was really interesting. To show a real interest, you must use positive body language, active listening skills and use a three-step communication strategy.

  • First, point out something about the person – “So you work in education.”

  • Then, say something positive that shows your interest – “That sounds interesting.”

  • Finally, ask a question that allows her to talk about herself – “Is that a good job?”

3. Focus on topics that s/he likes

Bringing up topics that your conversation partner likes is another great way to make sure he has a positive impression of you and enjoys talking to you. To do this:

  • Bring up a topic you know he is interested in – “You wife said you enjoy golf.”

  • Show you are interested – I’ve never played, but I’m curious why it’s so popular.”

  • Ask a question – Tell me, why do you like it?”

So, in summary. You can create an immediate rapport and get other people to like you during a conversation by (1) encouraging them to speak about themselves (2) showing a genuine interest in them and (3) focusing on topics that they like.

Using these communication strategies is guaranteed to make you immediately likeable in a conversation.


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